The Real Six

Simon returns to his room, to find that now, everyone else is studying, and they're all getting mad at him for being loud. And, of course, he says, "What the hell." Katharine comes in, followed by Nathan, who's choosing to skip Spanish. Way to go, Rob. This is all your fault. Amy comes in, and quickly and energetically strings together a nearly incomprehensible series of run-on sentences concerning her participation in too many extra-curriculars. She collapses. Lindsay comes back, and Jay comes from his room. Nathan ponders his tiredness, pointing out he's done nothing all day. Amy proceeds to prove him wrong:

6. Tired

AMY
We're e-mail checkers and Ramen noodle makers,
Poster putter-uppers and party partakers.
(She accepts and drinks a Red Bull, and the music speeds up.)
We're rehearsal go-er to-ers and
Sometime laundry do-ers.
Hash connoisseurs, and piggy bank breakers.
(Chorus begins to trickle in; they're all there by the first chorus.)

WILL & LINDSAY
We're relationship havers and roommate mediators

EDDIE
Butt sitter onners

ROB
And lunatic daters.

ADRIENNE
We're soccer stars who play guitars at nursing homes, then go to bars

ALL
Knowing that we have a ten-page paper due later.
So, yeah, we're all a little tired, but
Yeah, in college that's required.
There's so much to do, and there's only one you.
So we whine and we droop and we ache
'Cause we're constantly, ceaselessly, always awake.

(spoken):
NATHAN
I guess we are pretty tired.

AMY
See?

(sung):
KATHARINE
We're midnight pizza eaters, pajama bottom wearers.

SIMON
Lecture sitter throughers and life lesson sharers.

AMY & WILL
We're on our knees* to try to please some Ph.D's and earn degrees

NATHAN
We're cell phone psychoanalysts

EDDIE
And stereo blarers, so

ALL
Yeah, we're all a little weary oh
Yeah, because we've got this theory:
No time for bed? Grab a Red Bull instead.
It's a cycle you just can't shake
When you're constantly, ceaselessly, always awake.

SIMON
I was up all night doing homework.

ROB
I was up all night playing Smash Fest.

LINDSAY
I was up all night yelling at Rob,
'Cause he was up all night playing Smash Fest.

WILL
I was up all night at the party.

NATHAN & KATHARINE
We were up all night playing phone tag.

EDDIE & ADRIENNE
We were up all night... can't remember why

ALL
Better get some sleep before I die!**

(spoken):
SARAH
(entering)
Hey guys... what're you doing?

ALL
We're tired!

SARAH
Tell me about it!
(sings, as everyone slowly gets up):
I'm tired of my 10 AM lecture and smiling every hour;
Worrying and feeling like I have no power.
The pressure to be pretty and to leave extremely witty away messages
Just to say I'm in the shower

KATHARINE
Having roommates and professors and parents to please--

ALL
Tired!

SIMON
Conjunctivitis

ROB
And bibliographies.

AMY & WILL
Being caffeine machines who act obscene but still dress up on Halloween

ALL
We're tired of being in between, so maybe that explains why we...
Yeah, we're all a little groggy
Oh yeah, and sometimes life gets foggy
Our bodies complain 'cause our lives are insane
Maybe sooner or later they'll break.
'Cause we're constantly, ceaselessly, always awake.

(AGNES enters and sings counterpoint with the COMPANY)

AGNES
(overlapping with lyrics below:)
Why won't they just go to sleep?
I'm so tired of watching them stay up forever.
Why can't they just go to bed?
Just like normal people do?
What is wrong with you?

WILL
I'm getting tired of being in Jay's shadow.

ROB
I'm getting tired of living like a refugee.

KATHARINE
I'm getting tired of trying so hard.


NATHAN & JAY
I'm getting tired of being me.

SIMON & LINDSAY
I'm getting tired of not being respected.

EDDIE, ADRIENNE, AMY
I'm getting tired of growing up.

SARAH
I'm getting tired of wondering who I am.

ALL (Except AGNES)
Then damn, it's time to cram for an exam.

MEN
So
Yeah, we're all a little burned out.
Yeah, that's just the way it turned out.
WOMEN
(at the same time)
Yeah, we're all a little burned out.
Yeah,

ALL
We're all in so deep that we can't even sleep***
So we're certain to make some mistakes.

(Music stops when EDDIE makes some sort of mistake****. Everyone stops briefly and looks at him before:)

ROB
Ow!

EDDIE
Sorry.

ROB
Dude.

ALL
'Cause we're constantly, ceaselessly, always awake.

WOMEN
Awake!
Awake!
MEN
Yeah, we're all a little tired but
Yeah, in college that's required.

ALL
Endlessly awake!
*****

*I fell a lot in this song. At this part, we all fell to our knees, getting up at the next line.
**We all fell on die.
***Half of us (myself included) fell to the floor on this line; the other half helped us up on the next line.
****For us, Eddie allowed Rob to fall while helping him up. The on time in the whole song that anyone fell and I didn't.
*****Then we all fell to the ground. Again. By the end of show week, I had a huge bruise on the right side of my hip and my right knee, from always falling hard on that last one.