Practically Perfect in Every Way

When I was a little kid, I always wanted to be able to have a robin just sit on my hand and sing along with me. I also tried snapping my fingers when cleaning my room, and I thought that, if I listened really hard, my reflection would have its own, separate voice.
Boy, was I in for a world of disappointment.


Thanks, Mary Poppins. Thanks a lot.

Poster Sale

Remember how I mentioned the poster sale? Well that ended today at 5pm. I got a few, and for really good prices! I got a Van Gogh ("Open Air Cafe");



two Eschers ("Drawing Hands"



and "Reptiles");



a Steez one called "Turntables;"



and, my biggest one,
by Andy Warhol himself,



"The Velvet Underground and Nico."

Many Exciting Things are Approaching

Let's list them, shall we?

1- Spiral Beach's new album
2- Islands' new album
3- The release of "Where the Wild Things Are"
4- Classes start Monday
5- The release of the film "Nine"
6- the release of the film "9" was this week
7- The poster sale at our school.

I need your prayers!

So, yesterday my Oma (that's Dutch for grandmother) suffered a massive stroke. I'm asking that you all pray for her.

Additionally, my aunt has cancer for a second time. Please, pray.

I don't care if you see this years after I post this; God is out of time and will hear your prayers anyway. Please, pray for my Oma and my aunt.

Comedic Drama

I oftentimes like to pretend my life is comically dramatic, like in the awesome show "Pushing Daisies." That was such a great show! Why did it get canceled?

Anyway, my antics, now and then, turn out similar to the show (no, I can't bring dead things back to life). I have even, recently, started hearing Jim Dale's voice in my head, narrating the key points of my life, in the show's style.


It's great.

I'm Also Excited About October 16th

And that's because that is when "Where the Wild Things Are" is set for release. I've had the book since I was a little kid, and I am so freaking pumped about the film!

September 22nd will be a big day!

Islands have a new album coming out. It will be called "Vapours."
I would post a related link, but couldn't find one clearly advertising the album.
So...

http://www.islandsareforever.com/

Spiral Beach have a new album being released on the same day. It will be called "The Only Really Thing."

http://www.spiralbeach.com/

Characters from The O.C. Who I Hate

I don't understand how I can like a show so much when I hate so many of the characters, but I do.
I've decided to compile a list of all the characters who I hate. They are, in no particular order:

• Marissa Cooper (How can you not hate her? Although she does have her good moments. But in the coma episode, you see how she ruined Kaitlin's life by not dying.)
• Jimmy Cooper (At the beginning, he's not that bad, but he keeps making the same stupid mistake. "If you're going to leave again... Don't come back." -Marissa (in one of her good moments.))
• Rebecca (I don't know her last name)
• Julie Cooper-Nichol (I don't actually hate her; she's awesome. But I included her because I love to hate her, you know?)
• Caleb Nichol (What a jerk!)
• Lindsay whatever (I hate her with her stupid braid and her oboe and her mad-libs and her "Ryan, you're ex-girlfriend is so beautiful. Love my evil dad!")
• Charlotte what's-her-face ("Now I suggest you leave, because there's only room in this town for one manipulative b****." -Julie Cooper-Nichol)
• Dean Hess (with his bad haircut and sweater-vests. Ugh.)
• Taylor Townsend and Summer Roberts (But in both cases, only at first. It didn't take me long to realize how awesome they are!)
• Luke's brothers (They're really annoying, and they don't even look like twins.)
• Kaitlin Cooper (That annoying, shop-lifting, drug-...doing teenager really cheesed me off, but she got more bearable once Marissa wasn't around to drag her down.)
• Veronica Townsend (What a b****-a-roonie-doonie!)
• Johnny's cousin (I'm sorry, but she's a bit of, for lack of a better word, a ho-bag.)
• Theresa (I HATE HER SO MUCH! I can't even begin to explain how much I hate her, so let's move on.)
• Volchok (I don't know if you noticed, but he's actually a really bad actor.)
• Che (He's an annoying hippie who got Summer kicked out of Brown for stuff he did. He called her a weak gazelle. I only like him when he's in Newport (and with Seth in the surrounding forest). Except, of course, in Alt-World.)
• Some Girl (You see her for about five seconds in the comic book store after Seth says, "Did you just ask me if there's an X-Men comic based on the movies?" and before she runs out crying. Still, you can't help feeling sorry for her.)
  

Blasphemy

So, my mom has a page-a-day calendar of cookie recipes. Yesterday, the recipe was for Jelly Coconut Squares. That's disgusting. I mean, first of all, jelly does not sound nearly as appetizing as jam, right? And coconuts are absolutely narsty. Yes, that's right: narsty. When I tried to think of something more absolutely repulsive, the only thing I thought of was Jelly Coconut Blasphemy. Yes, using Jelly Coconut to blaspheme against God Most High.

Speaking of which, I saw on a picnic table yesterday, quite unfortunately, two sentences:

"No gods, no master.
Ni dieu, ni maitres."

Not only were they inconsistent with pluralizations, they also neglected to put a necessary accent circonflexe (is that how you spell it?).

But that's not what even got me. It was the lame atheist graffiti. I hate teenagers. They're so stupid and immature. And yes, I do realize I am one of them.

My Super Awesome Awesome Super Dream Awesome Band Awesome

I have devised a band. It works much the same way as Broken Social Scene, in that all the members are members of other bands, or solo artists. Also, they're all Canadian. There are even some of the same members. Anyway, this is who would be in the band:

Win Butler and Régine Chassagne of The Arcade Fire
Leslie Feist who is Feist
Jim Guthrie and Nicholas Thornburn of Islands and Human Highway
Joel Plaskett of The Joel Plaskett Emergency
Emily Haines of Metric
Kathryn Calder and AC Newman of The New Pornographers
Maddy Wilde and Airick Woodhead of Spiral Beach
Torquil Campbell and Amy Millan of Stars
Sara Quin and Tegan Quin of Tegan & Sara
Dave Monks of Tokyo Police Club
Liam Corcoran of Two Hours' Traffic
Paul Murphy of Wintersleep

So that's it. That's what it is. If any of the above-mentioned people happen across this, please please please get into contact with the other ones and form this band. I would be eternally grateful.

I think a good band name would be, "A Victim of His Own Demise." See, it sounds ironic, because he's a victim of his own, but it's really not, because it's his demise. Obviously he's a victim of it.

Sincerely,
Me.

P.S. Eternally.

P.P.S. I'm writing this part On September 12th. Emily, I dearly hope you kept that tiny piece of paper I gave you after your show at Wilfrid Laurier, and you found this. Please, if you do, let me know. I think the result can be as phenomenal as you were tonight!

lets_go_gnoming@hotmail.com

New Name

Through the help of Wikipedia, I have recently realized what moonshine is. So, I made up a more believable-sounding name for me. Got it? Now I'm Thomas Krol.

Sick and Disgusting

Last week, I disappointed myself in realizing that I've begun using the word sick, when not referring to a person, plant, or animal with a malady or the Ottoman Empire in the 1800s. No, I've been using it to mean "cool." For shame, Storm! For shame!

Anyway, I'm not far into it, so it'll be easy enough to stop, and return to saying, "sweet" or "sweetness." I say both. Plus, every time I say "sweetness," I hear in my head, "Sweetness never suits me when I get it up to take you home..." That's the beginning of the song "Midnight Coward" by Stars. It's a good song, and it makes me happy when I hear it.

Mirage of Loss

You should all check out my other blog, called Mirage of Loss. The link is... somewhere around here. It's my ploy to get people to like good music, instead of that crap that annoying teenagers listen to.

Scared the Crap Out of...Well, Not Me

In our grade 12 World History class, Lisa revealed to me that she had many fears. Throughout the semester, I compiled a comprehensive list of her fears. Don't worry; she has no racist fears. And do not ridicule her; she has a good reason for each.
Her fears, in order of their discovery, are these:

• capital letters
• cheese
• universities
• swimming
• breast feeding, breast pumps, and other related paraphernalia
• getting a cut
• the economy
• the news
• stock market crash and/or recession
• failing
• spiders
• clowns
• Cirque du Soleil, and the interaction it entails
• lethal diarrhoea
• demons
• skeletons dancing around her body
• airplanes
• driving
• downtown in cities (mostly everywhere outside the town she lives in)
• malls
• parking lots
• lots of people
• taxis
• city buses
• Greyhound buses
• germs
• getting beheaded
• being in debt
• taxes
• mortgage
• getting stabbed in the eye by a monkey
• giant squid
• boating
• waterskiing
• parachuting
• bungee jumping
• jumping out of a plane
• world-wide famine
• epidemics
• malaria
• travel
• cutting tomatoes
• our history teacher
• open-sea boating
• inflation
• the NDP party
• communism
• wave pools
• messed up schedules
• falling off a bridge while changing a tire
• sulphuric acid
• a truck losing its brakes and crashing into her
• flesh-eating diseases
• drinking water
• corporal punishment
• epidurals
• insurance
• hobos
• pandemics
• tuberculosis
• uranium
• tupperware
• apples
• ice cubes
• the school librarian
• giving birth
• the world
• night time
• It
• land mines
• getting kicked out of university
  

I need a job

Seriously, guys. I need a job.

Title

Alright! I would like to share with you all the meaning of my blog's title. Well, to be honest, I'm not entirely sure what the meaning is. It's a quote from this great song called "Rough Gem" by an equally great band called "Islands." They are a Montreal-based band that my cousin from British Columbia told me about. She's the only other person in the world that I know who listens to Islands. Sometimes that makes me happy, 'cause I love Indie music and knowing bands that other people don't. However! It makes me sad that everyone is missing out on the awesomeness that is Islands. Hmm......

Moonshine

So I just googled my name (not my real one) and it turns out Storm Moonshine is an actual thing. Not a person, but a thing. Apparently it's a cleaning product for...bowling pins?

http://www.bowling.com/products/storm-moonshine-particle-polish---cleaner.htm

I know. Me too. I was equally shocked as you are. Or is it equally as shocked? My shock was at the same level as yours is.


Dag.

Day One

Ah, yes. Day One of my new blog. I can't believe it. After years of making fun of blogs and bloggers, I am finally doing it myself. And why? Because someone told me to. Yes, Lisa, I'm talkin' 'bout you. No matter. What's done is done, and I have a blog now. Might as well make the best of it.

So, I've decided to use an alias for my blog. Remain undercover. Storm Moonshine, my name shall be, and my name shall be Storm Moonshine. (I'm a guy, by the way.)

So there it is: my first post. Really makes me not proud. Not proud indeed...