Numba Twoooo

The next morning, some shit goes down. Simon says "What the hell?" a lot, Eddie comes in and makes another mark on the wall with a Sharpie, and before long, we go into...

2. Simon Says

EDDIE
I think I'm gonna go to the gym.

SIMON
(speaks)
That's great Eddie.

EDDIE
Yup! I think I'm gonna go to the gym!

SIMON
(speaks)
You said that.

EDDIE
It's so much fun to lift and run
And flex my pecs for everyone

SIMON
(speaks)
My God.

EDDIE
I really really like the gym
I think I'm gonna go to the,
Think I'm gonna go to the,
Think I'm gonna go to the...

SIMON
Eddie!

EDDIE
What?

SIMON
What the hell?
(sings:)
I have a test in a couple of hours.
I need to read so I don't fail.
Why can't it be quiet I don't know.
This could affect my whole career.
I dearly wish you'd disappear.
Let's play Simon Says, and I say go!
(pushes EDDIE out the door, just as Amy frantically enters)
Oh no.

AMY
(caffeinated)
Hey Simon, whatcha doin'?
You look tires, I'm not tired.
Ooh! Mol Bio, that's required
I admire you for trying.
It's too hard for me I think,
It really hardly stinks in here.
My nose is happy. You look crappy.
Man, your eyes are pretty pink!
The floor is muddy, buddy else
I'm just a crazy fuddy duddy
Whuddy you think? Crap! I'm out of Red Bull!
Oh, wait! Here's one!
(drinks)
To Simon's Bio preparation
And his awesome education.

(spoken:)
SIMON
What the hell?

AMY
What what what what?

(sung:)
SIMON
I have a test in a couple of hours
I need to read so I don't fail.
Why can't it be quiet, who can say?
If it's at all within your power
Could you shut up for just one hour?
Simon says get out of here, okay?
(gets AMY out of the room, allowing ROB to get in)

ROB
Come on! Take a break!

SIMON
(spoken)
I can't play Smash Fest right now.

ROB
Come on! Take a break!

SIMON
(spoken)
I have a test in two hours!

ROB
This test's a breeze. It's easy.
Please?! You know you want to, dude.

SIMON
(spoken)
You're in this class!

ROB
Come on! Take a break!
Come on! Take a break!
'Cause let's be real, man, here's the deal, man,
Either way you're screwed.

SIMON
(as ROB sits down to play a video game)
We have a test in a couple of hours.
I need to read so I don't fail.

LINDSAY
(entering, frustrated)
Rob!

SIMON
Why can't it be quiet just one day?

LINDSAY
(spoken)
You were supposed to meet me half an hour ago.

SIMON
I think that I might get a "B"
If you don't stop distracting me.
Simon says you need to go away!

ROB and LINDSAY exit. SARAH enters to SIMON's increasing frustration. Music pauses momentarily.

SARAH
(yelling obnoxiously*, trying to find him)
Will!

WILL
(emerging from his room, sickeningly cute, speaks:)
Hey, Sarah. How was the rest of your night?

SARAH
(equally cute)
It was fine. I missed you.

SIMON
Oh my God.

Music re-enters. WILL walks toward SARAH as they sing to each other.

SARAH
Sweetie.

WILL
Lovey.

BOTH
Sugar pie.
Tee hee, tee hee, tee hee!
Mehnm-ehnm-ehnm-ehnmen!

SARAH
Lovey-buggy!

WILL
Schmoopy eyes!

SIMON
(spoken)
You're making me ill.

BOTH
Tee hee, tee hee, tee hee!
Mehnm-ehnm-ehnm-ehnmen!

SARAH
Sweetheart, schnuckums.

WILL
Dream come true!

SARAH
Poopsie woopsie.

WILL
(they hop together)
Kangaroo!

BOTH
(making kissing noises)
Mwah mwah mwah mwah mwah mwah mwah!
You're so cute!

SIMON
(screaming)
All right! Enough! For the love of God, stop!
(sings)
I have a test in a couple of hours!
I need to read so I don't fail...

SARAH
(spoken)
Let's go to your room, Will. It's loud in here.

They exit. SIMON slowly gathers himself. Just as relief sets in and he resumes his reading, all the doors suddenly burst open; EDDIE, AMY, ROB, LINDSAY, SARAH, WILL, and ADRIENNE** enter, and NATHAN pops up from under the blanket on the couch. They have realized that bothering SIMON is a lot of fun, and intend to capitalize on this. They all sing their verses in counterpoint, and then:

ALL
SIMON SIMON SIMON SIMON
SIMON SIMON SIMON SIMON SIMON!

SIMON
(with a scream that ends all their singing)
WHAT THE HELL!

*Our Sarah was adorable, not obnoxious.

**Adrienne doesn't actually sing, but she is in the next scene.

First Installment of COLLEGE

It was recently made known to me that COLLEGE: the Musical is an awesome show. By recently, I mean September 2010 when I was cast (in the chorus) in the Canadian premiere at my school.
It was made much more recently known to me that knowing lyrics would be desirable, which is understandable, 'cause they rock.
So, presenting the first installment of posting lyrics to the songs so anyone can enjoy them (shit, I hope they don't find this blog in the backwaters of the Internet and get mad at me), I give you the show's opening number:

1. How Amazing is This?

WOMEN
(while the men do some ooh-ing)
It's ninety-nine degrees.
The whole room smells like socks.
It's crawling with disease.

ALL
My God, this really rocks!
Here we go again,
Time for another college party.
Get a drink and grab a partner,
Pick a personality.
And if it doesn't turn out right
Then try again tomorrow night.
Friends and freedom in four years of frozen time...
How amazing is this?

(spoken:)
NATHAN
Did I tell you about the party? ...Of course I'm going -- I'm almost there! Look, I'm here, I can't -- I can barely hear you! ...I know, it's gonna be great! ...Listen, I'm at the door. I'll talk to you soon! ...Okay, thanks. Love you too... Mom.
(Hangs up the phone, bumps into KATHARINE)
Oops!

KATHARINE
Sorry!

NATHAN
Hi...

KATHARINE
Hi...

NATHAN
I'm Nathan!

KATHARINE
(laughs)
Katharine. Nice to meet you.

NATHAN
(adorably enthusiastic)
Are you a freshman, too?

KATHARINE
No... I'm a sophomore. Why don't I introduce you to some of my--

EDDIE
Hey, everybody! Watch me chug an entire gallon of milk!

NATHAN

Ooh!

ALL
Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
(sung, divided like beginning:)
Can't see through all the smoke,
Can't move, we're packed so tight.
I think my eardrums broke,
Oh what an awesome night!
Here we go again,
Time for another college party.
Start the playlist, pass the pizza,
Pick a pastel polo shirt.
Sure, the whole world waits for me,
But there's nowhere I'd rather be.
Friends and freedom in four years of frozen time...
How amazing is this?

(spoken:)
NATHAN
Oh my God. College is like... the greatest thing in the history of... ever!

KATHARINE
(laughs)
Yeah, well, classes haven't really picked up yet. Just wait until midterms...

NATHAN
(genuinely excited)
Are midterms awesome too?

KATHARINE
Um...

ROB
(holding a large bag of marshmallows)
I'm goin' for it! ...Chubby Bunny! ...Chubby Bunny! ...Chubby Bunny!

(KATHARINE sings, NATHAN speaks)
KATHARINE
There's something in his eyes...

NATHAN
There's something in this punch!

KATHARINE
I wonder that he's thinking about.

NATHAN
Ooh! They've got Doritos!

KATHARINE
Does he feel the way that I feel?

NATHAN
Aw, Cool Ranch!*

KATHARINE
Guess there's only one way to find out...

(spoken:)
KATHARINE
Hey again!

NATHAN
(with his mouth full and having no idea how to interact with a girl)
...Doritos!

KATHARINE
(laughing)
Yeah. So, um, Nathan, I was wondering... maybe later tonight, you might want to... I don't know, do something fun? Just you and me?

NATHAN
I would love to! Hey, maybe we could go out for--

AMY
Oh my God, it's Jay!

(sung:)
JAY
Is it Thursday or Saturday?

ALL
I don't know!

JAY
Either way, I'm not getting up tomorrow.
We might all be stressed or depressed or obsessed with a test

ALL
But tonight we're all blessed to be
Guests at the best damn party
To start, we all know it's sweat to forget you're upset.

JAY
Why?

EDDIE
We've mastered getting plastered!

ALL
Cheers!

AMY
We're enamoured with getting hammered!

ALL
Cheers!
Just bring us some booze and good friends and loud music and Jay.
Hey! We're all gonna be okay!
Here we go again,
Time for another college party.
Somehow so much happens every night,
But nothing ever changes.
The story of the years we spent,
Content to just experiment.
With friends and freedom in four years of frozen time...
How amazing is this?

JAY
Na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na

(spoken:)
NATHAN
Who's that?

KATHARINE
That's Jay. He's kind of a big deal.

(sung:)
ALL
Na na na na na na na na

JAY
How amazing is this?

(As chorus breaks into two groups, overlapping their "Na na na's" and "How amazing is this...'s"** during the dialogue; NATHAN begins to drink heavily with some of the other guys.)

(spoken:)
KATHARINE
(walking up to NATHAN and the others)
Whoa -- 'kay -- slow down, guys. Nathan's new at this. Nathan, you don't have to keep up with them...

EDDIE
Aw, Katharine, he's fine!

NATHAN
Fine? I'm great!
(trying to act as sober as possible:)
Katharine. Katharine!
(whispers something in KATHARINE's ear; then, as he is swept up by the crowd, sings; the Na's and How amazing's continue:)
Hey!
This is what it's all about!
Jay's the man.
You're the man.
I'm the man.
We're... We're the man!

ALL
Here we go again,
Time for another college party!

*Our Nathan hated Cool Ranch Doritos. And had to keep eating them.
**Not really sure how to pluralize that.

Validation

It's time for a great story that validates my awesomeness.

Last semester, in History of Ancient Greece (CL225), Dr. Young mentioned that Cleon was "riding a wave of popularity." As much as I loved her class, I was a bit bored so, naturally, I drew a little picture in my notes of a stick-man (Cleon) surfing on a tidal wave (of popularity).

Last week, while studying for my History of Ancient Rome (CL226) mid-term, I went through my notes for Roman Civ. (CL102) from last year. While flipping through the spiral notebook to find the beginning of my CL102 notes, I happened across something in my notes for Greek Civ. (CL101).

Well, apparently Dr. Schaus also said that Cleon was riding a wave or popularity, because I had drawn the exact same picture in those notes already. I probably even showed it to Jessica last year the same way I showed it to Victoria this year.

Validation of awesomeness? Check.

Legal in the US in Ancient Rome

Yeah, that's right. I'm 20. But calculating my age the way they did in Ancient Rome, I'm 21, as I am in my 21st year. So if I cross the border and decide I want to drink, I can just tell them, "Dudes. I'm 21 in Ancient Rome. I'm of age." Then I can drink!
(Plus, they're Americans, so they might actually fall for it. BAHAHAHA!!!)