An Accurate Designation of our Generation

The next morning, the football scene. A brief discussion of the word "meh." And then the awesomely hokey song:

11. Generation Meh

JAY
Our grandparents were the greatest
Mom and Dad were Boomers
But no one knows who we are yet.
None* of the labels the experts pick
Ever seem to really stick.
Which makes us just a little bit upset.
So without further ado
I present to you
Generation...
meh.**

EDDIE
Stuff sucks
But there's nothing we can do about it.

NATHAN
Well, not without considerable effort.
Armies forming and
Global warming won't
Simply go away.

AMY
Too bad

ROB
Yeah.

WILL
Stuff sucks
But there's nothing we can do about it.

NATHAN
Well, not without initiative and planning.

LINDSAY
Dreaming big is so
Overrated, though

ALL (but NATHAN)
Why not spend the day here
Coasting through,
Getting by;
Doing our best not to try.
Just like all our friends across the nation.
Maybe we could make a stir,

JAY
But apathy is easier.

ALL (but NATHAN)

Generation

EDDIE
Meh.

ALL (but NATHAN)

Generation

ROB
Meh.

ALL (but NATHAN)

Generation

NATHAN
Meh?

ADRIENNE & AMY
World's bad
But there's nothing we can do about it.

SARAH & LINDSAY
Well, not without some discipline and focus.

ROB & WILL
But in that regard,
Working hard is hard

EDDIE
We prefer to sit.

JAY
Things blow
But there's nothing we can do about it.

SARAH
Well, not without, like, taking off our headphones.

NATHAN
Might be worth a shot--

JAY
But we'd rather not.

ALL (but NATHAN)
It's less stress to quit.

ALL
Coasting through,
Getting by;
Doing our best not to try.
Just like all our friends across the nation.

MEN
Don't buy what they try to teach ya.

WOMEN
Stay inside and read your Nietzsche.***

ALL (but NATHAN)

Generation

LINDSAY
Meh.

ALL (but NATHAN)

Generation

WILL
Meh.

ALL (but NATHAN)

Generation

NATHAN
Meh?

EDDIE (spoken)
All right, everybody, let's do the apathy dance.

(They do the most unenthusiastic dance break ever. These three lines are spoken over the course of the dancing:)

LINDSAY
Whatever.

ROB
This is sooo lame.

AMY
Oh my God.

JAY
Democrats are stupid and
Republicans are evil
So why bother to believe you'll
Make a difference either way?

AMY
The terrorists keep plotting
And diseases keep on spreading.
No one quite knows where we're heading.

ALL
Maybe that's why kids today are

NATHAN
Scared to fail
Scared to death

ALL
All of us holding our breath
Even as we roll our eyes and pout.
We're wondering if we could come through

NATHAN
Even if we wanted to
Secretly afraid to go find out.

JAY
So for now we're all just

ALL
Coasting through,
Getting by;
Doing our best not to try.
Just like all our friends across the nation.
Sure the world will go to shit
But we don't have to notice it.

GROUP 1

Generation

GROUP 2
Meh

GROUP 1

Generation

GROUP 2
Meh

GROUP 1

Generation

GROUP 2
Meh

GROUPS 1 & 2****
Work (meh) Clean (meh) Vote (meh) Study (meh) Try (meh) Care (meh) Plan (meh) Thnik (meh)
(GROUP 3 enters here, singing LAs -- overlapping with below, happily, skipping around while plugging their ears, verse melody.)
Protest (meh) Challenge (meh) Grow (meh) Reach (meh) Dream (meh) Fight (meh) Question (meh) Hope (meh) Work (meh) Clean (meh) Vote (met) Study (meh)

ALL
Generation...

NATHAN
Meh.

*For the longest time, our Jay would always say "all" instead of "none," which sends the exact opposite message.
**The word "meh" is never sung; always spoken.
***At least two people in the cast (university students) at some point asked me what that line meant (and who/what Nietzsche is). I was thoroughly disappointed.
****I was group 1. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to memorize all the words in order. But I did. Don't worry.

We're in the Double Digits!

Katharine sees Nathan and Lindsay makkin'. She tips off Agnes and then, once everyone else has passed out, she sings:

10. All Together, All Alone

KATHARINE
All together
All alone
Driving in circles in the dark.
We're all wondering how
We're gonna find our way
And if we'd know it if we got where we're going.

All together
All alone
Trying to do the best we can.
A little over our heads
Maybe misunderstood
But all we want is just to know what we want

We're just kids
Who feel old.*
Still looking for answers to questions
We don't know how to ask.

KATHARINE & NATHAN
All together
All alone
Wondering where to go from here.**
But we wear a brave face
And let ourselves go numb
An wait for something to change.

KATHARINE, NATHAN & CHORUS
We're just kids (All together, all alone)
Who feel old. (All together, all alone)
Still looking for answers to questions
We don't know how to ask.***

GROUP 1
All together
All alone
Wondering where to go from here,
GROUP 2
All together
All alone
Driving in circles in the dark,
GROUP 3****
All together
All alone
Trying to do our best,*****

ALL
But we wear a brave face
And let ourselves go numb
And wait for something to change.

All together...

KATHARINE
All alone.

*I feel like that a lot. Like when I was in grade 12. And on my 20th birthday.
**For these three lines, Nathan sings it a bit later than Katharine, and they overlap.
***Chorus on the left, Katharine and Nathan on the right. Similar overlapping for the last two lines, with the chorus, then Kath and Nath.
****Usually Nathan and Katharine.
*****Similar overlapping.

Niner!

After Agnes' unsuccessful attempt to get evidence from Katharine of the party, the focus shifts to Nathan and Lindsay as:

9. You're Good Enough for Now

(NATHAN tries to smoke pot, can't, and begins coughing hysterically. They talk:)

LINDSAY
See? It's easy!

NATHAN
Am I making any sense?

LINDSAY
Some...

NATHAN
You see, when I get drunk, I get less... articulous...

LINDSAY
You're cute.

NATHAN
Lindsay... how can I put this?
(sings):
I have this weird feeling.
I'm afraid it's here to stay
'Cause I'm pretty sure drinking more
Won't make it go away.
And since you're really hot
I don't know what to do.
I guess I'm sort in love with you, a little.

This is happening so fast.
Will it last? I can't see how.
But we might as well.
What the hell.
You're good enough for now.*

LINDSAY
I thought you were stupid.
I actually still do.
And I thought that you were immature
And I still think that too.
But I'm so bored right now
That from my point of view
I guess I'm sorta in love with you, a little.

This is happening so fast.
Will it last? I can't see how.
But we might as well.
What the hell.
You're good enough for now.

NATHAN
Maybe we're meant to be.

LINDSAY
Maybe I feel a spark.

BOTH
Maybe people just seem better-looking in the dark.

NATHAN
I'm not saying let's move in.

LINDSAY
I'm not saying let's get pets.

BOTH
I'm just saying one night might be worth all the regrets.**

I'm willing to settle
'Cause you have shown me how.
You're out of mind when you're out of sight
But I see you right now.
We're not a perfect match
You're not my dream come true
But I guess I kinda maybe might be slightly sort of almost nearly somewhat rather fairly relatively
In love with you.***

CHORUS
Ahh, ahh.

NATHAN & LINDSAY
A little.
And that's love enough for now.
CHORUS
Ooh...

This is happening so fast
Will it last? I can't see how.

NATHAN & LINDSAY
But we might as well.
What the hell...

*This song sounds sweet at first listen. Or, it did for me. Then I actually listened to the lyrics, and discovered that it's hilairmo.
**I told that to someone once. It must have been someone who was in the show, and got the reference. I wonder what I was talking about...
***AWESOME line!

After, 8

Agnes has set up camp outside Jay et al.'s room. She's waiting. Intermission. After that, the party starts with:

8. Alcoholeluia
I put in boldface the lines corresponding with the pictures they precede.

JAY emerges from his room. He stands on his balcony, above the entering crowd, like a priest. Everyone masses like a creepy Gothic chorus below him. He begins to sing in Gregorian-style chant.

JAY
Brothers and sisters, we are gathered here tonight
To worship the defining of the college experience.

ALL
(turning to the audience)
Ahh...

JAY
To celebrate the one thing that unifies us all.

ALL
(turning to the audience)
Ahh...

JAY
To participate in the miracle that occurs on
Campuses across America every Thursday, Friday
Saturday, and sometimes the other days too.
ALL
Ooh...


JAY
(spoken)
Eddie! Tap the keg!

ALL
(as EDDIE taps the keg:)
Ooh...ahh!

Gospel-rock feel begins.**

ALL
Life is hard but never fear
Your one true calling is ever clear
So come commit to getting lit today.
If you believe, then you will see
The pointlessness of sobriety
With Jack in hand your problems float away!

Send your conscience on vacation
And embrace annihilation.
Let the beer be your salvation
As you sing...

Alcoholeluia!
Alcoholeluia!
Grab a brew.
Let it guide you through the night, ahh!
Alcoholeluia!
Get a few into ya.
Oh Lord!
We've seen the Miller Light.


(spoken):
LINDSAY
Hey, Nathan -- don't you look cute!

NATHAN
Thanks -- I changed shoes! Hey, do you know if Katharine's gonna be here tonight?

LINDSAY
I haven't seen her. Aren't you two in a fight?

NATHAN
I guess so...
(LINDSAY touched him flirtatiously as she walks away, and NATHAN spills his drink on himself.)

(sung):
WOMEN
Every day new troubles come
But you can't let them distract you from
The only faith with proof that you can see.

MEN
We speak in tongues and dance and shout
And get so happy that we pass out***
And isn't that the way that life should be?


JAY
So I'll loan ya a Corona.
It'll change your whole persona.
We'll get you in the zone and
Then you'll sing...
ALL
Ooh, ah ah ah ah
Ooh, ah ah ah ah
Ooh, ah ah ah ah, ahh

ALL
Alcoholeluia!
Alcoholeluia!
Drink with me, there's no need to be uptight. Ahh!
Alcoholeluia!
Feel it flowing through ya!
Oh Lord!
We've seen the Miller Light.


(Dance break with overlapping chanting; each group continues as the next joins in.)

GROUP 1
Boot and rally. Boot, boot and rally.
Boot and rally. Boot, boot and rally.

GROUP 2
Shit I have to piss again! Shit I have to piss again!
Shit I have to piss again! Shit I have to piss again!****


GROUP 3
Oh my god! I love this song!
Oh my god! I love this song!

GROUP 4
Notice me. Please, notice me. Why won't you
Notice me. Please, notice me. Why won't you


GROUP 5
This guy! Look at this guy. Hey! This guy right here's amazing!
This guy! Look at this guy. Hey! This guy right here's amazing!


JAY
Have a shot of half a handle.
Nothing else can hold a candle
To liquor on demand! You'll
Start to sing...

ALL
ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!
(The group huddles together like an a capella group, each holding a shot.)
Alcoholeluia!
Alcoholeluia!
Pretty soon
It'll start to taste all right.
(shot)
Ahh!
(throw their shots/cups)


Alcoholeluia!
It's what you gotta do, duh!
Oh Lord!
We've seen the Miller Light.
Ahh!

Alcoholeluia!
Alcoholeluia!
Be born again
Feel the spirits and unite, ahh!
Alcoholeluia!
Then boot and start anew, ya,
Sing Lord!
We've seen the Miller Light, ahh...
Oh Lord!
We've seen the Miller Light.

*We were all wearing dark hoodies for this part, with our heads bowed so you couldn't see our faces. It was quite eerie.
**And this is when we pulled off our hoods and it got all bright and junk.
***Here, I passed out. Yes, I fell again. And not for the last time in the show, either.
****Our girls said pee instead of piss. By the way, groups 1, 4, and 5 were guys; 2 and 3 were girls. I was in group 4.

Ending Seven

Okay, so number 7 doesn't end the first act, but it is the last song in act one. Well, where we had the intermission. The script doesn't actually have an intermission written into it.
Anyway, after "Tired," Jay announces another party for that night. Nathan argues with his parents over the phone, making for something of an awkward situation for the others. Everyone leaves but Nathan, Will, and Sarah. While Nathan sits at Simon's desk, Will and Sarah begin to talk:

7. We're Who I Am*

(spoken):
WILL
I'm just... I'm not the greatest when it comes to the little things in our relationship. I get stressed out, and maybe I'm not always as considerate as I could be... I often don't return your e-mails, or your voicemails, or your text messages... I've never remembered your birthday, or our anniversary... at parties I ignore you, and I flirt with other girls... or I go out without you and I come home drunk... and I never wanna cuddle--

SARAH
(cutting off WILL and the music vamp)
Will, stop. Seriously.

WILL
Sorry! I just wanna make sure it's not me you're tired of...

SARAH
(as the vamp starts up again)
Will

WILL
Yes?

SARAH
(sings)**
There must have been a time
When I kissed myself good night.
I try to think of it
But it doesn't quite ever feel right.

What was it
Like on my own?
Facing each morning alone
It wasn't long ago, I know.
And yet...

I don't remember.
We're who I am now.
Like I was
Born the day we met.
We're who I am.***

There must have been a time
When I turned around and you weren't there.
All that was guiding me
Were some daydreams and pieces of prayer.

What if our
Paths hadn't crossed?
Would I be
Wandering, lost?

Wondering what this empty life could mean?

I can't imagine.
We're who I am now.
No other
Way it could have been.
We're who I am.

(NATHAN looks up from the desk. He watches. SARAH continues, not noticing NATHAN.)

One day I disappeared.
It was scary and wonderful all at once.
I've vanished. There's only us,
And no way I could ever go back, 'cause

Who would I be then?
(WILL kisses her.)
And I don't know what I would do.
If there were no "I love you too."
I would be no one without you.
We're who I am.

*This song actually quite reminds me of "Under Your Spell," Tara's song in "Once More, With Feeling."
**When she first started this song, our Sarah was really quiet, which was a shame because she has such a nice voice. By January, though, she seemed much more confident, and had a much stronger voice.
***It seems sweet, but when you consider this side plot with her, Will, and Jay, it's actually a bit depressing.

The Real Six

Simon returns to his room, to find that now, everyone else is studying, and they're all getting mad at him for being loud. And, of course, he says, "What the hell." Katharine comes in, followed by Nathan, who's choosing to skip Spanish. Way to go, Rob. This is all your fault. Amy comes in, and quickly and energetically strings together a nearly incomprehensible series of run-on sentences concerning her participation in too many extra-curriculars. She collapses. Lindsay comes back, and Jay comes from his room. Nathan ponders his tiredness, pointing out he's done nothing all day. Amy proceeds to prove him wrong:

6. Tired

AMY
We're e-mail checkers and Ramen noodle makers,
Poster putter-uppers and party partakers.
(She accepts and drinks a Red Bull, and the music speeds up.)
We're rehearsal go-er to-ers and
Sometime laundry do-ers.
Hash connoisseurs, and piggy bank breakers.
(Chorus begins to trickle in; they're all there by the first chorus.)

WILL & LINDSAY
We're relationship havers and roommate mediators

EDDIE
Butt sitter onners

ROB
And lunatic daters.

ADRIENNE
We're soccer stars who play guitars at nursing homes, then go to bars

ALL
Knowing that we have a ten-page paper due later.
So, yeah, we're all a little tired, but
Yeah, in college that's required.
There's so much to do, and there's only one you.
So we whine and we droop and we ache
'Cause we're constantly, ceaselessly, always awake.

(spoken):
NATHAN
I guess we are pretty tired.

AMY
See?

(sung):
KATHARINE
We're midnight pizza eaters, pajama bottom wearers.

SIMON
Lecture sitter throughers and life lesson sharers.

AMY & WILL
We're on our knees* to try to please some Ph.D's and earn degrees

NATHAN
We're cell phone psychoanalysts

EDDIE
And stereo blarers, so

ALL
Yeah, we're all a little weary oh
Yeah, because we've got this theory:
No time for bed? Grab a Red Bull instead.
It's a cycle you just can't shake
When you're constantly, ceaselessly, always awake.

SIMON
I was up all night doing homework.

ROB
I was up all night playing Smash Fest.

LINDSAY
I was up all night yelling at Rob,
'Cause he was up all night playing Smash Fest.

WILL
I was up all night at the party.

NATHAN & KATHARINE
We were up all night playing phone tag.

EDDIE & ADRIENNE
We were up all night... can't remember why

ALL
Better get some sleep before I die!**

(spoken):
SARAH
(entering)
Hey guys... what're you doing?

ALL
We're tired!

SARAH
Tell me about it!
(sings, as everyone slowly gets up):
I'm tired of my 10 AM lecture and smiling every hour;
Worrying and feeling like I have no power.
The pressure to be pretty and to leave extremely witty away messages
Just to say I'm in the shower

KATHARINE
Having roommates and professors and parents to please--

ALL
Tired!

SIMON
Conjunctivitis

ROB
And bibliographies.

AMY & WILL
Being caffeine machines who act obscene but still dress up on Halloween

ALL
We're tired of being in between, so maybe that explains why we...
Yeah, we're all a little groggy
Oh yeah, and sometimes life gets foggy
Our bodies complain 'cause our lives are insane
Maybe sooner or later they'll break.
'Cause we're constantly, ceaselessly, always awake.

(AGNES enters and sings counterpoint with the COMPANY)

AGNES
(overlapping with lyrics below:)
Why won't they just go to sleep?
I'm so tired of watching them stay up forever.
Why can't they just go to bed?
Just like normal people do?
What is wrong with you?

WILL
I'm getting tired of being in Jay's shadow.

ROB
I'm getting tired of living like a refugee.

KATHARINE
I'm getting tired of trying so hard.


NATHAN & JAY
I'm getting tired of being me.

SIMON & LINDSAY
I'm getting tired of not being respected.

EDDIE, ADRIENNE, AMY
I'm getting tired of growing up.

SARAH
I'm getting tired of wondering who I am.

ALL (Except AGNES)
Then damn, it's time to cram for an exam.

MEN
So
Yeah, we're all a little burned out.
Yeah, that's just the way it turned out.
WOMEN
(at the same time)
Yeah, we're all a little burned out.
Yeah,

ALL
We're all in so deep that we can't even sleep***
So we're certain to make some mistakes.

(Music stops when EDDIE makes some sort of mistake****. Everyone stops briefly and looks at him before:)

ROB
Ow!

EDDIE
Sorry.

ROB
Dude.

ALL
'Cause we're constantly, ceaselessly, always awake.

WOMEN
Awake!
Awake!
MEN
Yeah, we're all a little tired but
Yeah, in college that's required.

ALL
Endlessly awake!
*****

*I fell a lot in this song. At this part, we all fell to our knees, getting up at the next line.
**We all fell on die.
***Half of us (myself included) fell to the floor on this line; the other half helped us up on the next line.
****For us, Eddie allowed Rob to fall while helping him up. The on time in the whole song that anyone fell and I didn't.
*****Then we all fell to the ground. Again. By the end of show week, I had a huge bruise on the right side of my hip and my right knee, from always falling hard on that last one.

Ssssssssix (well...)

After Lindsay and Rob break up over a video game, Lindsay runs into Katharine, who's still upset about Nathan. After Lindsay tells Katharine perhaps the most hilariously awesome version of The Ant and the Grasshopper that I have ever heard, Katharine tries calling Nathan, but gets his voicemail. Then:

5A. He's a Dweeb (All Together, All Alone Preprise*)

KATHARINE
I don't get it.
He's a dweeb.
But somehow I care about that
Stupid little twerp.
Because there's something there
Even though he sucks.
Jeez.**
I wanna beat him up.
Or else make out...?

Some girls fall
For the captain of the football team or the poet.
Some girls fall
For the tall ones or the tough ones or the ones with green eyes.***
That said then,
Of course I
Fall for a guy that I kinda hate. Great.
Nice going, Kath'rine.

Still, I like him.
Like... a lot.
Even if I can't understand exactly why.
But now it's three-o-five
And I am late for class.
And my professor will not care
That I'm in love.

*Because apparently that's a word.
**That one word is spoken.
***I'm not a football player or a poet, tough or tall. But I have green eyes. WIN.